Life sometimes really sucks.

Three days ago marked two years for me and Lisa being together, and in one month it will be our third christmas and new years since meeting that we haven't been able to spend together.

Last year we kept saying we'll definately be together for next year, meaning right now. And now we keep saying the same thing about next year. I'm really starting to hate any kind of special occasion because not a single one can I spend with my gurl.

I want to blow off christmas all together and sleep through new years, but how can I do that when I have family around and expectations set on me. Gawd I hate the holidays, they remind how alone I really feel when I can hide it from myself most of the rest of the time.

Knowing Lisa is gonna be all by herself for christmas makes it even worse to. If we can't be together I should be alone aswell.

How can I live my life to the fullest when I can't even hug the gurl that makes my life full??

I love her with all my heart, but somedays I kind of wish we didn't meet, it would be so much easier loving someone local. But we did meet, and fall in love, and now it hurts constantly, and I can't picture my life without her, and I don't even know what it's like to hold her hand, and she's all I ever want, and and phuck I just hate feeling so alone when I know that I have this amazing gurl in love with me who I'm in love with and we shouldn't have to feel so alone in love.

People, avoid long distance relationships by all means possible. If you don't fall in love long distance you wont have to feel all this, even though you know that you wouldn't change it because it's all worth it.

Grrr, I'm so tired of all this. Is it so much to ask to have my gurl in my arms after proving so many times over that we're meant for each other!

Aaaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhh

Nite