I just found out that my girlfriends baby sister who just turned three months yesterday, who my gurl has custody of and we are gonna raise together as a family, is in the hospital with fluid on her lungs and she might not make it. How can the world be so cruel? My baby could be dying and I'm sitting here, tears streaming down my face, wanting so bad to be there for my girlfriend and for my baby angel and all I can do is this, nothing, except tell my gurl how much I love them both and that the baby has to make it and will make it cause she's strong and because I'm selfish and want to hold her and kiss her and love her.

I've always said that I love the baby, but until this moment I didn't really know just how much I love her. I can't loose her before I really have her in my life. I've never seen her, I've never heard her, I've never touched her, but I love her more than I thought anyone could love someone they have had no contact with whats so ever. I would give anything to be there right now to show them I love them instead of just saying it; to show I have faith that my baby will make it instead of just saying it; to show that I am there with them each step of the way instead of just saying it; and to be there to hold and comfort my gurl if our faith and hope isn't enough to pull our baby through.

We're trying to talk about happy things now, and we are laughing at somethings, but it is just so hard. She says she's trying to cope, I can't even imagine how she feels, she has been there to change the diapers, to feed her and dress her, to hold her and see her smile, hear her sweet little giggle, to look in her eyes and feel her warm little body...I continue now two hours later...Just got some good news, my baby is out of critical condition, the fluid is drained, but she is still in danger. They have to see if there was tissue damage and if it is recoverable. Please, please, please be recoverable. If anyone is reading this could you be so kind as to pray or hope or have faith or all of the above that she will be a healthy baby girl with a long life ahead of her. I would greatly appreciate it.

I'll write more later, I'm still talking to my gurl right now and if I think too much more about my baby's condition right now I'm gonna start crying again. I want to be strong for my gurl even if she wouldn't know if I cried again.