I talked to my love, actually the day after my last entry. I worry too much. As I had thought she couldn't get use of a computer. We talked for three hours, and we talked again for four more hours last night as well. I can't believe how fast time flies when we are talking, four hours seem like mere minutes with her. I'm not a big talker in person, but online I can talk for a long time, and with her I can talk about everything and nothing. It's great having someone I can talk to about just anything and know that nothing said will change our love and she knows nothing she says will change my love. She knows my fears I have never told anyone before, she knows so much that I have kept inside and thought I always would, and yet she still loves me. That is when you know the love is true, when they know the worst about you and afterward they're still there to say they love you and to help you through. I don't know what I would do without her, I don't even want to think of that, and I prey I never have to find out.

I just read an entry in Leviticus' diary titled Family Matters in which she said she is the only one gay in a family of about 60, when it is said that 1 in 10 people are gay. Well I am the same, in a family of about 50 I am the only one, or at least I know not of any others who aren't straight. 1 in 10 is right, but we just need to get the right ten people together. I am 1 in 50 in my family, but in my program at the college, I am 1 of at least 3 in 20 plus one of the instructors. And then I'm back to being 1 in about 15 for friends. Statistics only work when you are surrounded by the right people. We are among the 10% of the world's population that is gay or les or bi, but are also among a population that is not fully accepted and hence not fully out and so the 1 in every 10 may be there we just don't have knowledge of them unless they want us to. In a group of ten to anyone but three of my friends they would not know that I was the one. Someday my family will know I am the one, someday all my friends will also know I'm the one, but until then I am still no one that stands out in a group.